ok, i've made this blog available for syndication- something i ought to have done a long time ago. the Atom link, if you need it, is at the bottom of the page beside the Blogger logo.
Lois: It seems today that all you see is violence in movies, and sex on TV.
Yayy, 50 episodes of
Family Guy to indulge myself in.
How to use Japanese style toilet
Wortel Drie Spy Test
South Pole Webcam: i'm naturally assuming that there're no nubile girls taking off their tops (and often more) here
Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can...
this is great,
3D pics of naked ladies
worst bike driver ever
Boredom:Transform
Books on Dick: oh, the titles are hilarious. speaking of which, the
Large Penis Support Group- support in what way?
don't we all hate the
Microsoft Word paper clip?
would the demise of the institution of marriage undermine the foundations of society in any discernible way? what would happen if i, the great Lycurgian law-giver, decided, on a whim, to create a dual legal matrimonial track? we could retain the institution of marriage legislatively as it currently exists (with or without gay marriage), with all the legal ramifications it entails. PLUS an option for couples to have short-term marriage contracts, lasting say five years. at the end of the contract, the couples are free to part. compulsory pre-nuptial contracts would settle any property and children issues; if necessary outstanding wrangles can be resolved by the subordinate courts. of course, satisfied parties are welcome to extend their contracts by another five years and so forth, but one thing is to be made evidently clear: the legal rights of short-term contractual marriages would be significantly less than that of their life-long counterparts. for one, alimony would be only payable in the latter. this is reasonable if one considers the possible mating strategies of unscrupulous and greedy women. if you ask me, this arrangement wouldn't create a situation very much different from the one we're witnessing in contemporary American and Western European societies. there will be less post-separation legal battles, that's for sure. not to mention a meteoric rise in the number of single-parent families, but that's not something we can't live with. in addition we can expect to see a lower birth rate, but i'm not too sure that more people will choose to remain single under these conditions. anyway i'm not suggesting this is a realistically tenable position, just playing games in my head.
Panda Golf
Radio Free Satan
Blob Lander
Sickey Mouse
Absolut Art
Presidential Knockout: Bush v. Kerry
Gene Sequencer
lastly, a
fitting commentary on Becks-gate
There was a T-Shirt Bra live catwalk show downtown today. as expected, i was there pretty early to get a front-row standing spot. just as similarly expected, a large throng of curious men gathered in anticipation, elbowing and shoving one another for a better view. this was even before the show commenced. i have never seen so many grown men wielding cameras congregated at a single location since the last National Day parade. these are the same guys who tape
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Specials and pilfer their wives'
Victoria's Secrets catalogue. i only admit to the former, cos i'm happily single and too embarrassed to ask for a copy from the sales assistant.
anyway i don't quite get the moniker. why T-Shirt? is it because they are just as comfortable or because these babies are meant to be worn on their own, i.e. without the superfluous external clothing? i'm slightly inclined towards the latter. if you're a lady who has purchased one of these, i therefore strongly encourage you to wear the bra on its own. the local weather is too hot anyway; we need to practice more sartorial minimalism.
the T-Shirt Bra ads make me uncomfortable, curiously. i can safely say i'm not the only guy who feels this way. a few days ago, i was watching telly with a small group of similar-aged guys when the ad came on. we weren't conversing before the ad appeared, and it remained so for the first two seconds. in that short instance, the sheer plenitude of skimpily-dressed attractive women prancing around on the screen had made me decidedly squirmish. so i asked the guy beside me something quite irrelevant and suddenly everybody had an opinion on the issue, chatting away furiously till the ad ended. anything to peel our eyes away from the screen, it seemed.
i have been 'invited' to partake in the planning of a Youth Expedition Project (YEP). planning, mind you, not participate in one. for the uninformed, this is what YEP's about:
from its website,
The YEP vision is for youth to be active and responsible world citizens. Our mission is to inspire youth through meaningful overseas community service, to make a difference to the lives of others, at home and abroad. YEP was launched in February 2000. An innovative learning programme, it complements Singapore International Foundation's (SIF) objectives of fostering friendships for Singapore through participating in meaningful overseas community service projects.
yadda yadda whatever. if it were completely up to me, i'd send the kids to the West Bank to act as human shields against the Israeli military juggernaut. hopefully most of them will die in the face of the onslaught. not that i'll be accepting the invitation however; it will plainly take up far too much of my time.
Who benefits from the whole endeavour anyway? the miserable Third World kids who are simply waiting helplessly for the wonderfully benevolent and philanthrophic Singaporean young people to build schools for them? for fuck's sake, these children are probably far better at manual labour than our pampered upstarts. think about it, our young men and women spend several hundreds of dollars to fly to a underdeveloped region to plant a few bricks (poorly) and feel real good about themselves, while being treated like royalty. ever notice how these projects are inextricably linked with the local tourism boards? who really profits anyway? probably the airlines.
We are suggesting that the people over there are too fucked-up to build infrastructure for themselves (cos they are real stupid, uneducated folk y'know) so they must rely on our academic geniuses to do it for them. we'll do a good job cos we've studied physics and trigonometry. hey some of us are even engineering undergrads! you have any idea how good our engineering students are at hands-on technical stuff? these guys will be supervising foreign labourers in future y'know! i suggest that these self-actualizing humanitarians try taking a bus down to the nearest non-profit organisation for the needy and volunteer there for a start. did you know we actually have underprivileged kids in our midst? besides the bus trip costs several thousand times less than the plane ride. must tighten our belts, economy isn't looking too rosy. Wait! the economy is pretty sweet, profits are up (record gains in some companies), productivity is at a high... eh, then why the lousy pay? another one of the great mysteries of the universe...
Vice magazine
Eros Boutique
Talk Sick:
The Passion of Stern- from the creative geniuses at LiquidGeneration
What you are
another nutcase...
World Wide Flush- what a load of crap!
Philosophical Powers: i like the Friedrich Nietzsche one. 'With Eternally Recurring Punch Action! Remove his glasses and he transforms into Overman!'
i'm gonna ramble on a little here....
tomorrow is my final paper. as i progress in university, more and more i feel as if i'm going through the motions of the exams like a veteran pornstar. perhaps by my final year, i'll be blase enough to take the exams in bermudas, a surf T-shirt, sunglasses while sipping ice tea.
speaking of pornstars, i've been following the moratorium in the LA porn scene due to the HIV infections rather closely, even though it's no longer in the news. you could say that i'm something of an industry observer, in both senses of the term. for some reason, i've been rather depressed by the whole affair. naturally i'm keenly aware of the abject conditions these porn actors find themselves working under, for miserable pittance. this incident just drove my feelings of empathy out from my unconscious into the harsh glare of my consciousness again. i know i sound like a klansmen lamenting the lynching of a black fellow, but it's nonetheless true. it has been a few days, but i'm still a little blue (no pun intended).
i don't understand why these production companies feel compelled to keep making videos. there's certainly a lot of filth out there to sustain the masturbatory instincts of the Average Joe for some time. the typical video is about 60 minutes in length. mr average, if he's... well.. average, won't last longer than 15 mins into the video. which means a video has a life-span of approximately four viewings. with a substantial library, videos can be re-watched a few times before the script gets memorized (that's the benchmark, by the way, for being considered familiar with a video).
i vaguely recall some male columnist accusing men of 'perenially masturbating in front of their computer screens to pixels, while scores of lonely women remain date-less'. the allegations are a tad unfair in my opinion; these are the guys that can't get dates (and hence, laid), so there's little choice but to resort to virtual simulation for recourse. after all, renting a porn tape is cheaper than taking a girl out. and one doesn't get rejected by the video clerk (unless there's some nasty history involving returning semen-stained tapes and so on).
ladies have their romance novels too, don't they? personally i think they are filthier than the average porno, but my experience regarding such publications remains limited. pornos are about as exciting as exercise videos, but romance novels leave things to the imagination. sometimes i wonder what goes through the minds of the readers when they are going through the steamy scenes. once i saw a lady smiling really happily to herself as she was reading a romance novel on the bus. must have been thinking about a roguish aristocrat/pirate ripping off her tight bodice.
is that what they really want? that romance novels sell so well attests to a certain appeal to the readership. what the consumer wants, what the consumer gets. maybe they long for a time when men were men and, according to Barbara Cartland, when women were virgins. nowadays men are pussies and women are cunts, if you'd kindly pardon the language. ah well, none of my business really; if i could only remember where i'd left that VCD of mine...
A lady named Aletheia wrote to the Straits Times forum. Darn, wanted to give my future daughter that name, looks like somebody beat me to it. looks like i'll have to settle for my second choice, Busty. and my second daughter will have to be relegated to Cupsize.
oh, forgot to write my exam reviews. exams are
really important to me. if i don't do well in university, i'm afraid i'll be reduced to scrubing zoo cages for the rest of my miserable existence. and 'women won't find me attractive'- according to a former Normal (Academic) student made good. on the other hand, if i graduate with good honours and such, i'll be able to find a cushy sixty-hour-a-week job which pays exceedingly well and hopefully i'll get to seduce lots of women with my big fat paycheck. At least that's what my mom used to tell me: study hard and girls will fall for you like flies to faeces. apparently that's what my friend's mom told him too; he's still slogging his nuts off in school while happily unattached. i can imagine what he tells himself as he's mugging, 'Another A is equivalent to another two inches'.
to put it simply, i won't be enhanced by four inches for my first two papers.
what?! noo......!!!!
How much would it take for you to kill a puppy with your bare hands?: this must be one of the best pieces of psychological research since the Stanford Prison Experiment
if you remember my soft spot for Eastern European ladies, these are the
Top 100 contestants for Miss Russia
Fists of Curry
Penis explodes during sex- Killer line: 'I don't know what this couple were playing at'
Reflectoporn
The Japanese are crazy: Part 2032
Celebrity blogs
This post is a bit puerile, but then again i'm a darn puerile person. nothing you didn't expect already.
Who determines the height of urinals in this country? i don't know who to write; the Ministry of Environment, Ministry of Manpower, Ministry of National Development or plain old dump for complaints, the Feedback Unit? for those of the female persuasion, the height of urinals vary farcicallly around town, so this poses certain problems only men can relate to (i know you gals have far more problems, but since i possess a penis primarily, your woes would have to be voiced via some other channel).
Logically speaking, a rational toilet designer (whatever you call these brainless blokes....could be a woman too) would first ascertain the standard mean height of the target consumer demographic and adjust the urinal height accordingly. This makes the most sense, unless one has ample reason to believe that there is high standard deviation about the mean. you see, i'm rather vertically-challenged. while i never have to tip-toe to reach shooting position, on rare occasions i barely make it. i mean, that's fine by me; cos i have tall friends for whom the urinals we used to have in school were set too low for them. can you imagine if they had to pee with an erection? the walls would be stained yellow- as if they weren't already.
From an utilitarian perspective, the optimal strategy to maximise happiness for the greatest number would be to install elongated, preferably anti-splashback urinals. but these babies don't come cheap (i've checked, they have to save money to employ the cleaning ladies). Nonetheless therein doesn't lie the basic rationale behind my grouse. i've travelled to other countries, ang-moh ones at that, but i seldom faced any difficulties with urinals that are installed too high. Inexplicable... and i assure you i didn't cheat by using the kiddie one. On the other hand, there's a toilet on campus whose urinals i jsut make the mark. well, there are guys shorter than me y'know, however rare. i've measured. the urinals are user-friendly for those between 166-198 cm in height. That's ridiculous, that obviously doesn't reflect the mean height range of Singaporean male undergrads.
btw, some irate guy wrote this.
Maybe I pay way too much attention in public restrooms, but I have a few gripes. They are as follows:
- As I’ve explained before, groans of satisfaction are completely unwelcome. Please stop it now.
- Touching me at any point while I am “engaged” in my “activity” is strictly forbidden. You might as well cup my balls while you’re at it.
- Why am I not allowed to enjoy the handicapped stall? I am tired of feeling guilty for wanting to lounge in the luxurious vastness that is the handicapped toilet. I like to get in there and set up a little coffee table, maybe a small T.V. and just have some me time. Is that so wrong?
- Often times, there are two styles of urinals in the men’s restroom: The Highboy and the Lowboy. There are many men that refuse to use The Lowboy, as if it is reserved for midgets. Just step up and drain it, yogurthead.
- I don’t mean to give away any guy secrets here, but there are several methods that men use to pee. Some men prefer to hold down the pants with one hand and “aim” with the other hand. This is commonly referred to as The Two-Hand Flip and Drip. Ok, I just made that up, but that’s what it should be called. This is the method that I use and is the most generally accepted, unless you are some sort of fetishist or pedophile. One of the other methods always makes me giggle a little; I call this method The Gladiator and it involves taking the wang out and then putting both hands on the hips, as if to say, “I am The King of all that I see here!” These men always seem like they are waiting for applause. Another method, which I’ll call The Ankle Biter, I’ve only seen a couple of times. Here, the man employs a stand-at-the-urinal-and-drop-the-pants-all-the-way-to-the-floor maneuver. It’s like nobody taught him the rules after potty training at age four. It’s just sad.
- It’s ok to fart in the bathroom, but don’t look at me and smile. I'm very proud of you, but we’re not going to make out.
- I don’t care if you didn’t “touch it” or “wipe it”, wash your hands, scumbag.
- When either of us are in the act, do not talk to me. I need to concentrate.
- Ok, now this is definitely a guy secret that I’m giving away. When I take it out and let loose, I have no idea which direction this fire hose is gonna spray. I’ve always thought this was some sort of flaw in God’s design. You’d think that if you aim it down, it’d go down. But sometimes, when you aren’t paying any attention, it’ll just spray off to the right at a 45 degree angle like it’s a Vegas water show. I literally get angry with my penis when this happens. Sometimes I scold it, which usually draws some concerned glances from the other restroom patrons.
What is it with girls and lizards? after encountering the umpteenth lizard-induced phobic reaction, i've decided to inquire further. as an investigative busybody, i've asked before but never received a satisfactory answer. maybe because i'm male, or maybe it's just me (my inclinations lie towards the latter). So i went and asked a former female classmate of mine, who had incidentally just expressed a profound dread for house lizards, geckoes, whatever-you-call-those-greyish-reptiles. Unfortunately she couldn't provide me with an adequate explanation; just muttered some gibberish and hoped i wouldn't notice.
'is it the big eyes?'- i've heard that one before. cannot be, most things with big eyes are adorable- except for the giant squid and Michael Jackson.
'is it the texture of the skin?'- can't be also, their skins aren't slimy or visibly scaled.
i told my friend, 'Girls should like lizards. After all, they have long and nimble tongues.'
She blinked at me for a nanosecond before rolling back in uncontrollable laughter, 'You never change'
Just like old times. She's the only female in whose presence i spontaneously crack off-colour jokes, but then again i never really thought of her as a female.
view the
Earth from a satellite of your choice
plush-toy tragedies
The Writings on the Stall: i blogged about the scribbled musings in my university toilets before
the crowd screamed, 'Sacrifice the liver!': i dig Modest Mouse, dude!
some nutcase has
too much time on his hands
Howtoons
John Bonham,
eat your (decomposed) heart out! Hey, i'm a Led Zeppelin fan... Plant and Page could recruit this guy and re-form the band. and check out his biceps.
Sperm race- akan datang
i've had several conversations on pretty weird topics these few days. the exam stress must have gotten to people. instead of lamenting about the lack of female companionship as per normal, we actually plunged into an analysis of recent demographic patterns in China and the expected impact on the rapidly-developing economy.
today, as i was walking to the exam venue with a female friend (Hallelujah! the miraculous has occurred! a female within a five yard radius of me!), for no rhyme or reason i was blurting out my views on the Fallujah crisis. i think the original point i was trying to convey was that conventional military wisdom dictates that troops should be 'fast in, fast out', but i'm definitely not a military guy, cos i take it slow to explore the terrain and placate the local populace. but that point was sadly muddled in my stream of incoherent speech.
anyway, i told her that a massacre in Fallujah was brewing, and shouldn't be wholly unexpected should it materialize, and i proceeded to give her my reasons for saying so. moreover as a disclaimer, i highlighted the possibility that any humanitarian crisis precipitated by the coalition troops wouldn't be reported as such by the mainstream media.
'Why are you telling me this?'
'i don't know, just thought you oughta know'
'Now, you've gone and made me depressed before the exam!'
for a moment i thought she said 'horny', instead of 'depressed', which made me pretty excited for a while till i realized my error.
Signs that the authorities are doing all they can to boost the ailing birth rate: total blackout in certain residential areas, my campus bookstore selling pregnancy detection kits- but not condoms
Stewie: Let's hope Osama bin Laden doesn't know show tunes
i'm gonna get the
Family Guy DVDs soon, if i can find it that is. but i've heard the complete Seasons 1-3 package has been censored, inclusive of the killer punch line above. incidentally, today's papers featured a lady who flies from Shanghai to San Francisco every fortnight to attend Wharton Business School. Her name: Jane Lin-Baden.
this is freaking hilarious...
My Penis may be a Terrorist --- CW
I have, for some time now, not trusted my penis. It has that look. Nervous. Shifty. From a very young age, I sensed that it was up to something sinister. Now, my suspicions are beginning to grow (so to speak).
I travel a lot for business and on nearly all of my jaunts around the country, I dutifully take my penis with me. I am nothing if not loyal. Until recently, my penis has been rather quiet on these trips, choosing to forego the sightseeing and fancy restaurants. And I respected that.
On my latest trip to Boston, however, my penis was up every morning before I was, doing God-knows-what. Also, I believe it may have been stealing money. Cannot confirm.
I sense that you believe me to be paranoid. But there is more…
On my way through security at Boston Logan International Airport and Rock Quarry, I was…sullied. Allow me to first say that, having passed through security stations worldwide, I have learned to streamline myself for an easy checkpoint transition. I have all leather shoes, a fashionably unresponsive belt buckle, a note for the metal plate in my head, all lint in my pockets has been shaken free of potential iron filings…I’d shave my body if I thought it would help (possibly even if it wouldn’t). I’ve never had an issue.
So, after I removed my laptop from its case and had taken off my coat and had placed my suitcase, computer bag, laptop and coat securely on the special conveyor belt, I maintained my characteristic level of smug arrogance as a traveling professional.
“Hold on Mr. Security Man! I shall enter your gates of judgment momentarily!” I thought to myself, secure in the knowledge of the smooth, lead-free skin beneath my cotton fiber clothing. "Ah yes! I am a modern day Marco Polo! Scanning the globe in search of new and amazing conquests! All hail and bow at the feet of the…"
Beep.
“Sir, could you step over to the side here, please?” said the vibrantly dull security denizen. Then, over his shoulder, “I NEED A MALE BODY SEARCH OVER HERE!”
Well, who doesn’t?
“Sir, could you please have a seat over there?”
Well, certainly. I am Marco Polo. My card.
“Please hold your feet straight out in front of you sir.” A new security expert now. I glance his name badge. Carl. Of course. I suspect he may be a foot fetishist.
“I need to wand your feet here…” Carl gestured.
Wand. Must…restrain…giggle…fit…
Right foot first. Down over the knee, past the ol’ shin, rounding the top of the shoes, whip past the toes there, underneath…
Beep.
Well, shit.
“Sir, I’m gonna need you to remove your shoes,” sighed Carl in a supremely indifferent fashion.
This is a problem. Believe me when I tell you that when I have to take off my shoes in a public place, the terrorists have won. Yet, off they go.
“Please stand up, sir,” he, again, sighed. Completely bored with terrorists, Carl is. “I just need to wand you here…”
We’ve done this joke Carl.
“Please put your arms out to your sides, sir.”
Jesus Christ Pose. I’m feeling outshined.
Down the arms and back again. Rings…Beep. Watch…Beep.
“That was yer watch,” states Carl.
Well, no shit, Carl. If it had been a dildo, we all could’ve had a good laugh.
Down the back. Quick brush down the front.
Beep.
“Sir, I’m gonna need for you to unbuckle your belt completely and hold the ends to the sides.”
Uhhhh-huuuuh. I have received upwards of $50 for this service in the past, so I make another quick check of his badge at this point to verify his credentials. Seems real. It’s goldish, anyway.
“All righty…there ya go,” I say graciously.
“Thank you, sir,” says Carl, still blasé. “I need to wand down the front of you again.”
Okay, everyone sure as fuck better stop using “wand” as a verb around me, already.
Beep.
“That’s the button on my jeans,” I say to Carl, by way of explanation.
“Do they button all the way down, then?” Carl asks, cocking an eyebrow, wanding me up and down the length of my zipper.
Beep. Beep. Beep-beep. It’s a fucking Roadrunner cartoon down there.
“Well, no,” I answer.
Wand. Beep. Wand-wand. Beep-beep.
“Sir, I’m gonna need to feel this area,” he says.
Can you blow in my ear first, Carl?
“You need to do what, now?” I ask.
“I need to check this area,” he says calmly.
That “area”, Carl, is my penis. Can we stop calling it my “area” and show it the respect that it deserves, please? Althooough…“area” does kind of make it sound large. “Area” it is, then.
I desperately wanted to squeal or turn my head and cough or say, “a little to the left, please, and faster” as he began feeling my “area”, but I know how airport security people have such a mild sense of humor about such things. So I stay silent and think of baseball.
“Okay, thank you sir,” Carl said, sated.
No, thank you, Carl. At least he didn’t look up and declare, “Nope! Nothing here!”
So I buckle my belt and look down at the charming sweat stains that my size 12 feet have stamped upon the black security mat. Quick scan for comely flight attendants in the area. None in sight. Off I go to gather my shoes. They lay motionless and lonely on the security conveyor. Sharing in my humiliation, no doubt.
As of this writing, I am still on the airplane and have not gotten a chance to check my “area” more closely, so I have no idea what my penis is smuggling down there. Toenail clippers? Stiletto? Brass knuckle? Difficult to say.
I only know this: I will be keeping an eye out (poor choice of words there) for suspicious activity from my penis.
I suggest you do the same.
i can empathize with CW's predicament. but i hasten to add that my penis has gone through obedience school, so i can safely say that my dear brother understands its basic etiquette. for guys out there who are interested, penis training involves regular whacking and throttling, cos they are real obstinate creatures. their heads are too big for their bodies you see, so they get funny ideas. Contumacious penises are nothing new of course; St Augustine himself wrote about his headstrong member which inappropriately arises from time to time. i had vivd memories as a schoolboy waiting in line for my annual medical checkup, where the perverted nurse makes us pull back our foreskin as far as the limits of collagen and pain tolerance allow, trying to will my tumescent penis into flaccidity. it must have been the anxiety, causing the blood to flow into restricted areas. ah well, childhood memories...
F.C.: Fluffy Creatures or...
Mix
chlorine and alcohol in a bottle and shake vigorously
NY Girl in Baghdad
wok boarding
Windows Noise- utterly amazing, but only goes to show techno doesn't actually amount to very much
Dragon Toy
i don't condone the actions of the Iraqi insurgents. but when i read remarks by US commanders like 'they hate freedom, we love freedom, they hate democracy, we love democracy. and we're gonna dig in to fight for what's right...', it just makes me wanna go, 'YEAH RIGHT!!!'. we can eschew the lengthy political commentaries.
Mugging has reached pandemic levels in school. among the worst hit are the chemical engineering students. i'll provide an apercu into what they have been going through. one of my friends, who incidentally has a minor in Life Sciences in addition to his chem. engin. course, has suffered an eczemic outbreak, or relapse rather. another has disrupted his circadian rhythm to such an extent that he had his breakfast at three in the morning. we've also heard of a guy whose girlfriend quite obdurately left him because he wasn't spending enough time with her recently (but it's the exam period what!). and something most Singaporeans acquainted with the superhuman academic capabilities of PRC students wouldn't quite expect: one of them has broken down under intractable pressure. The horror stories just roll in, like the Iraqi resistance.
so you've decided to be
evil
viagra stories
boob mixing machine:
xiao jie, wo yao teh nee!
another weird
Japanese Flash animation
storm sounds: the fearsome call of nature
Toilets of the World
Shake that ASS!
simply can't get my act together to hit the books, so i've decided not to do any studying today whatsoever. well, i tried to read something but after fifteen mins of:
the lateral geniculate nucleus projects to the occipital cortex, which then projects to the other visual regions in the parietal and temporal cortex (the geniculostriate system). the superior colliculus projects to the pulvinar (the tectopulvinar system)....
... my brain just gave up. mind you, the above is merely a summary.
therefore i'll devote this post to an issue next to the Singaporean male's heart: procreation. you know that we're in danger of not being able to reproduce ourselves when the Deputy Prime Minister talks about matchmaking at an university address. First we kick off with a nice guide:
How to Spot an Easy Girl
Getting laid can be tough. Well, its not that tough, if you have money, power, fame, or you are a dickhead. Another advantage you can use is the ability to spot an easy girl. Maybe your problem is that you're shooting for the wrong one, and that's why you are still coming home empty handed. Here's a little guide.
1. Burgundy Dye Jobs
This one should be fairly obvious. Any girl over 20 doesn't have naturally blonde hair. But blonde isn't what you should be looking for. Red hair, or "burgundy" hair, is a dead giveaway. No woman has natural Burgundy hair. Here is one thing I bet you've failed to notice. When a woman is going thru some sort of crisis, where she needs extra attention, what color does she dye her hair? When she gets a divorce, gains some weight, or her man leaves her for a younger chick, what color is it? Burgundy. As you go out into the field, keep the burgundy hair in mind. Apply this principle: if the hair is burgundy, pay attention to her. Feed her the attention she needs, and 95% of the time, you'll get what you want.
2. Hats.
Lets face it. Its not raining in the bar, and the sun is nowhere near your eyes. So why in the hell would a chick wear a hat in the bar? Women use their hair as their power to attract men, so why would they cover it up? Simply to get an advantage in the attention market. Also, if they steal your hat, and put it on, you got a key to her poon. And remember: Fuck roofies. Attention is the drug you use to get laid. While it seems silly, attention is a very powerful tool that guys use half heartedly. Don't. Use it to your extreme advantage, because most single chicks in bars are there for attention and attention only. Get them drunk on it, and they will have no choice but to go home with you and get the most attention possible. And the only reason women wear hats in bars is to get attention.
3. Fake Tanning.
This one should be fairly obvious. Everyone knows a fake tan when they see it. So why do girls go tanning if everyone knows its fake, and just says "FAKE BAKE" when she walks by? Because any attention is good attention. See the theme here? Again, usually when women are going through a crisis, or they have been recently dumped/divorced, they fake tan. This is your window of opportunity boys. Club girls like to tan as well, for an extra edge, they know its fake, you know its fake, but they stand out. And that's the point. And men, never go tanning. If you don't have psoriasis or some other medical reason for doing it, tanning is gay. That's a rule.
4. Excessive Smoking
While its no fun to kiss an ashtray, you must remember you are trying to get laid. If you are a smoker, its no big deal, but if you aren't, just keep your end goal in mind. Excessive smoking is a great indicator of easyness. It says two things: she's smoking for attention (that word comes up a lot, doesn't it?) and also: she takes things to excess. And when they want attention to excess, they sleep with you. Trust me. If she wont put down her cigarette to dance, or kiss someone, or you haven't seen her all night without one, you're in like flint. Watch for it.
4. Fake Bisexuality
Fake bisexuality is a good ticket in. There is only one reason girls kiss at a bar or club. The same reason they dance sexy with each other there. Attention from men. If a girl shouts at the top of her lungs that she's bisexual, take note. If she says she's "bi-curious" the same applies. The only real bisexuals in these places are usually strippers. They like sex with women because they hate men, but they will have sex with men to pay for jewelry and their kids. It may not be pretty, but its the truth. If a woman is not a stripper but claims to be bisexual, chances are she's looking for attention, and you have a whole bag of it.
5. Stupid Clothes
This one is pretty obvious. Why wear ultra trendy ridiculous clothing? You guessed it. Women sense desperation, and while it is a turn off for them, you should develop this sense to your advantage. And nothing says desperation for attention like stupid looking clothes. Our natural instinct is to be intimidated by women who are really flashy. Start thinking different. If a woman is hot, but dressed like this, she's crying on the inside, and you need to use this to your advantage. If she's not so hot, than at least you can keep her on the back burner till 2am and take her home. Its a simple game, but one you must play.
i think i've spotted all of these traits in a single person more than once. might wanna add visible tattoos to the list.
This is from sometime back by mr brown, but it's worth reading if you haven't already
AngMoh-ising S'pore men
It seems that our local men and new HDB five-room and executive flats share the same problem. People do not want them. A letter writer to a local paper recently lamented that there is an alarming trend of local girls marrying Caucasians because these Western men usually have better careers, live in bigger condominiums and drive bigger cars. Everything also bigger.
The writer also believes that local women are going with these Ang Mohs because they can get overseas citizenship easier and the girls think the Caucasians treat women with more respect than local men do. I must say I am alarmed. How can these local girls not see the tremendous appeal of local men, who are family-minded and obedient? According to the letter-writer's in-depth analysis, our women are going instead for these loose-living foreigners who are not interested in the 5Cs (although they have career, condominiums and car already, by sheer coincidence), who may not be interested in marriage and kids and are only good at being sophisticated, well-spoken and opinionated.
It is time for the Government to step in here. Foreigners are not just taking our jobs, dammit, they are taking our women!
The Government should consider making it against the law for local women to date foreign men, unless they have valid medical reasons. Because I think it is only under the compulsion of law, can the modern Singapore woman learn to appreciate the finer qualities of local men. Local men need all the help they can get. They have already lost two and a half years married to their military wife, the M16 rifle. In that space of time, our women get to taste the fruit of foreign men who do not need to serve NS. And our men are left fondling their gun.
Hopes were further dashed when the Ministry of Defence declared that women are unlikely to serve NS with the boys any time soon, because they are not needed and anyway the military cannot afford to pay their salaries and house them. Many felt that if the women served NS, the local boys might have gotten a chance to socialise and mingle with them after a sweaty IPPT (Individual Physical Proficiency Test) session, or to share a joke or two over a night snack. But it doesn't look like that avenue is going to open for now.
I think besides relying on the Government and their mothers, local men need to be pro-active too and try to make themselves more attractive to local women. Learn to dress better, like making sure your socks match your belt. No white socks unless you are playing badminton.
Be more conversationally adept and try to talk about something else other than work and soccer. Touch on foreign celebrities, like Ali G, once in a while, to show that you are with "it".
Get a Western name, like Jack or John. But avoid adding a "son" at the back of it. For some reason, Westerner-loving local girls do not think "Jackson" or "Johnson" are hip first names and associate them with Ah Bengs. Perhaps because they are also meant to be Western last names and Johnson means something rude in some Western countries.
The HDB has a similar problem. People are shunning their new flats in places like Sengkang and Punggol 21. They will stop building five-room flats because there are about 10,000 unsold ones, left on the shelf (like Singapore men).
People are shunning them because the estates are too ulu, or remote and backward (like Singapore men) and also because the downturn has made these larger flats too expensive (this part is not like Singapore men, because local men are cheap).
Case in point, recently some people have complained that LRT stations in Sengkang are named badly. Some of the station names are Kangkar, Renjong and Thanggam. I can see how such heritage names lack the hip and Western touch (like Singapore men). No wonder people say the estates are ulu. So let's forget about trying to retain some history and heritage in our new estates.
We should instead try to name our estates with culturally relevant names like Compassvale, Fernvale, Rivervale, Edgevale Plains, Edgefield Plains. It makes our HDB flats sound less like public housing and more like private estates. This is key to our men winning local women, who like foreign guys because they live in private condos.
Besides, Singapore has many dales, vales and plains and we used to be a British colony. Come on, even our university is called Kent Ridge. Many of these street names are found in Punggol estate, where the many unsold flats are. I think it is a step in the right direction, because Western sounding street names will help sell flats.
In fact, who was the genius who came up with Edgefield Plains and Edgedale Plains anyway? I would like to shake his hand. Who cares that people do not remember the middle syllables (they remember the Edge and the Plains, everything else in between is static). The important thing is that the names are Western-sounding and hip. Need more street names? Maybe we can try Edgedale Fields and Edgefield Dale. Now that I think about it, Edgefield is a great Western name for local men to adopt. Edgedale Lim and Edgefield Tan will be chick-magnet names, I tell you.
It will get you into our future Sentosa casino, if it ever gets built. As Trade and Industry Minister George Yeo said: "We don't want the man going there after work or the housewife going there when she is free in the afternoon. So there must be controls on who can gain access to the casino." "And if you are not of a certain economic class, you should not even think of going there. You should confine yourself to 4D, Toto or horse racing," he said. In Singapore, not just hospitals, even casinos will have means testing.
So if you Singapore men want to impress the girls with your Western name, Western apartment and casino lifestyle, get your economic class sorted out. Or you will be left with the housewife who buys 4D when she is free in the afternoon instead of the sassy young thing who plays Blackjack at Sentosa in her thong.
and there's a response...
Making S'pore men more desirable...
I read with interest mr brown's article "AngMoh-ising S'pore men". While, I am in general agreement with his views, I think he is missing the wood for the trees.
There are two main culprits here ? the Ministry of Defence (Mindef) and Singapore Airlines (SIA).
While the boys fresh from school get into National Service (NS) for two-and-a-half years, the SIA is hiring our cute, charming, educated girls and sending them out West to be exposed to ang mohs. After months of eating MREs (meals-ready-to-eat), cookhouse food and ang dau night snacks, our boys' idea of a good night out is Tiger beer and chicken rice. Meanwhile, the girls are being exposed to canapes, caviar, Cabernet, champagne and other Western Cs ? I mean, cuisine.
No wonder Singapore men cannot compete!
It has been said there are other forms of NS for the girls. I agree fully. They should be made to apply for Exit Permits when they leave Singapore. These permits must certify that they have a Singapore fiance or husband, ensuring they do not sample any foreign "cuisine" while abroad. The SIA should also have a minimum age/marriage/child-bearing criterion for employing stewardesses: They must either be married to a Singaporean, bear a minimum of one child (part of NS) or be single grand-aunts. This can change over time to having to be a mother of at least two children.
Then, there is the problem of a name.
Every man going into NS must adopt an ang moh-sounding name if he does not already have one ? like the employees in Excelsior Hotel in Hong Kong, who had to adopt a Western name like Ricardo, Ronaldo, Elvis, etc. Perhaps, many will remember the time when our kids needed a Hanyu Pinyin name to enter Primary One, at the height of the Speak Mandarin Campaign? The Mindef should train our boys to fight and enjoy the finer things in life. Canap?s, caviar, Cabernet and champagne should be introduced into their daily diets. Besides the rifle and the entrenching tool, they must also be taught the difference between a fish knife and a butter knife, a glass for water and a wine glass.
After NS, our boys' A1 in English degenerates into an A1 in Singlish and their idea of a buffet is everything on a plate. So, foreign language and culture training are also important. And just before the ORD (operationally-ready date), they should be sent for a complete makeover ? hairdo, spa treatment, mudpack ... the works. Properly coordinated and executed, this will make Singapore men more competitive and desirable; help arrest our declining population; and allow the women to do the NS in the best possible way.
Robert Yeo Sai Boo
Fwah! lots of excellent suggestions. you realize i do have some vested interest in this. there's this old joke about a guy being thrown into a cauldron of breasts and emerges sucking his own thumb. well, i'm that sort of guy... how very Grecian tragic, but nonetheless one works with what one's got. anyway i was wandering the shopping district next Sunday, and was struck by the relatively large numbers of Asian-wife/expat-husband/gorgeous mixed-blood daughter families around. i'm all in agreement with the recommendations that children of female Singaporeans married to foreigners should be made automatic citizens. hence we can retain a core of beautiful mixed-blood kids to improve the scenery. of course not all miscegenational progeny are good-looking, but there's a pretty high chance, so we're sticking to the policy.
Insatiable Hunger for Destruction
wow,
porno for the news junkie, quite a handy resource this
create your own graffiti
restore what God has given to you (and enjoy better lovemaking)
Scottish Biker
losing your virginity stories
Ultimate Fighting's Greatest Knockouts
Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?- by anarchie bunker
Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q: Good night, Daddy.
just came back from playing soccer at the basketball court. even a friend who has a paper the next day was solicited to join us, though in my defence i should add that i advised the others not to disturb him. exam periods are weird; i find myself having the most free time towards the end of the semester and the guys are wildly envious of my slack lifestyle. not that my grades are particularly abysmally-poor or stratospherically-fantasic, but to a certain extent, i couldn't care less. anyway, our game was unceremoniously ended by campus security... a nanosecond after the ball had collided with two other balls in my groin area. several million of them died upon impact.
a girl asked, 'what is it with guys and Milo?'
a guy replied, 'maybe it's because of the army?'
the connection between choice of beverage and the military seems a tad strenuous. but we did consume large quantities of the chocolately drink in the army, though it's difficult to tease apart the cause-and-effect relation. as a digression, we had some pretty good quality Milo served in the military, well at least in my camp, as compared to the dilute slop they prepare for us at the hostel. no way comparable to the Milo i make for myself, but then again the powder does cost money. somebody ought to analyse the chemical constituents of Milo. i suspect there are trace amounts of theobromine, tyrosine and the other stuff found in chocolates that render it slightly addictive.
i realised this post (save for the Iraq rant) has been rather inane. all i can say is: Back to regular programming
Description:
neon-green ball, black holes, maze- how do you fit those together
The Trebuchet
evil pictograms
BattlePong
Demolition Derby: the controls are a little awkward
smoking is bed is baaaaad
Billionaires for Bush
Scope Assault
the consequence of sex
shitty advice
once in a blue moon, i post something serious and actually worth your time reading. this will be one of those, but if cerebral effort is too much for you to exert at this juncture, kindly skip the following.
if you're one of those poseurs... i mean..politically-aware intellectuals who reads Matthew Yglesias, John and Belle Holbo and the like, you'd notice that there's this discussion about Singapore vs USA: which is better going on. essentially somebody observed that in Singapore, health care is unbelievably cheap and efficient, the trains run on time yadda yadda... and people started having dictatorship vs democracy, authoritarianism vs libertarianism debates. all's fine and dandy, till the Lee Kuan Yew- Hitler/Stalin comparisons came up. not that i'm the biggest fan of local political leadership, but that's stretching the analogy a bit too far.
not that i think i'm more knowledgable or insightful than these intellectuals (though it might very well be true in this instance), some of the arguments have been based on erroneous assumptions. if we could kindly look past official political rhetoric or popular media discourse for a while and actually dealt with the wonderful place called Reality, we would notice a few things (but i'm not gonna reconstruct the proofs for these observations, should be pretty obvious for people who open their eyes to see and not passively listen to authority).
Firstly, Singapore, while not the most politically-free nation-state in the world, isn't technically a dictatorship. one might perhaps peg the system as a technocratic oligoarchy. hope no one significant is reading this, but it's an unofficial secret that it is the bureaucrats who run the country, not the politicians (save for the a few Cabinet Ministers). Secondly, the United States isn't a free-market democracy, if we're to be honest with ourselves. Within realistic considerations of the term, 'democracy' can still be used to describe the US style of governance. feel free to quote me on this, but the presidential race between Bush and Kerry is akin to Britney vs Christina: yeah they are different and their fans have quite separate agendas, but they belong to the same record company (i think). But to dub the US economy a free market capitalism would be like saying that Tom Cruise can act: a beautiful lie only the fans believe.
if you allow me to allude to Chinese history, comparing the US to Singapore would be like comparing the Age of Aristocracy to the Age of Autocracy (yes, i'm suggesting the US has a functional aristocracy, but i won't go as far as to say it has a feudal social system). when it comes to which arrangement one prefers, this question can be distilled into a contrast and consideration between living under say Han Wudi's rule and early Ming rule after Zhu Yuanzhang's reign. Both systems have their pros and cons undoubtedly, but one shouldn't hasten to make normative judgments of worth. Personally i'm a leftist libertarian, but who knows how much this inclination would be diminished should i be made a decision-making technocrat and a functional head of a patriarchy. but i'm immensely appreciative of the fact that things run like Swiss clockwork here, can't complain too much.
for Americans who haven't visited Singapore in the past five years, do come down for a short trip (heh, free advertising for the Tourism Board), things change helluva fast here.
Guess my name
Chernobyl
customize your own
George Bush poster
create your own
British government scandal
International Federation of Competitive Eating
another undergrad nutcase
been observing the uncle who sweeps the road in front of my dorm rather closely these few days (you can probably tell i've not been studying very hard). no, this is not symptomatic of some geriatric sexual fetish. he's pretty skilled. roadsweeping, or what some term infrastructure maintanence, is an art form and requires a certain level of intelligence. it's isn't necessarily the general factor (Spearman's g) or pIQ whatever, but something rather intangible or not very well understood i might define as csIQ, or common sense IQ. i'm nearly done with
Understanding Power, and in it Prof Chomsky quite readily confesses that automobile maintenance is quite beyond his comprehension (maybe he's not smart enough, he argues). on the other hand, because of my military training, the interiors of a vehicle isn't exactly quantum chromodynamics to me, but roadsweeping seems suspiciously out of my reach. my point has nothing to do with intelligence however, just been blabbering. you see, i have a vision of myself sweeping roads or cleaning toilets in forty years time or so. don't ask why, it just spontaneously emanated. cleaning toilets i can handle pretty well, though i did take me a couple of months of regular loo washing to master some of the subtleties. my platoonmates who consistently volunteered to cleaning toilets have admittedly reached a state of Czikzenmihalyian flow (Zen and the Art of Toilet Maintenance). they go about their business (have had a few opportunities to work with the giants in this field) with elegaic grace, like Zidane with a football. in contrast, the cleaning auntie at my hostel block ,despite this being her day job, looks distinctively amateurish in comparison; and she still complains like an unpaid whore.
my roommate is still obsessed with taking female personas on sex chatrooms. but as a result of his meticulous and laborous efforts, we have ascertained the hotspots where undergrads like to enjoy hanky-panky on campus. i assure you that my peers have been going at it like rabbits around school- though most unfortunately i have not had the opportunity to indulge in similar pursuits. to generalize, isolated stairways and rooftops are popular destinations for a quick bang. we could probably publish a guaranteed bestseller with this info, integrated with some of my friends' first-hand (actually fairly often it is the ladies who prefer to use their hands on the guys instead) experiences. as a matter of fact, from what i've heard, many a times it is the girl who's far more eager and adventurous than the boy. it's weird to hear guys intimate that they have been 'ravished' by ravenous females, and one of them actually sounded genuinely upset about the incident(s). i haven't the foggiest why such escapades don't occur to me, but i've promised to be kinda of a shield for my more desirable guy friends. whenever they are cornered in a compromising situation, they would call me up so that i can either take their place as a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter or most probably diminish the girl's libido to nothing by my sheer presence. sounds like a good arrangement to it; that is if my friends actually use the heads between their shoulders, rather than the one between their legs, in such situations.
