Fifth emperor
Very disappointed in the Channel NewsAsia broadcast at 1930 yesterday. I'd thought it was Swearing at the Cabinet.
My friend has this crackpot theory about Chinese dynasties he was eager to share with us one rainy afternoon in a kopitiam. He argues that dynasties reach their peak by the fourth or fifth ruler, followed by a plateau spanning a single generation, and then ineluctable decline. He does not take into consideration duration of reign.
Liu Che or Wudi, who oversaw Pax Sinica, was the fifth Han emperor. Qianlong was the fourth Qing emperor if we count from 1644, the fifth if we count from 1636. The reign of Emperor Xuande, the fifth emperor, is generally regarded as the golden age of Ming, despite a number of mishaps. Kublai Khan is the fifth emperor of the Yuan dynasty. The watermark of Northern Song prosperity was achieved just after 1050, which corresponds to the rule of its fourth emperor. The case of Tang is a little more complicated, but it wouldn't be stretching the truth too far to argue that Wu Zetian held the reins during the peaking of Tang power (despite it being traditionally credited to the first half of Xuanzong's reign), effectively as its fourth, fifth and sixth ruler.
The Qin and Sui dynasties never reached the fourth emperor of course, traditionally thanks to the Great Wall and Grand Canal respectively. Western Jin was extinguished by the time of its fourth ruler. Strangely enough however, Qin Shihuang was the fourth Qin king following the annexation of Zhou, with which the Eastern Zhou dynasty ended and the era of Qin, as regarded by Chinese historiographers, began. Yang Jian, the Sui founder, was also de facto ruler of Northern Zhou by the time of its fifth emperor.
The history may or may not be accurate (most likely it isn't, or at least it's oversimplified), but my friend was essentially trying to make a point. He's sufficiently convinced by the similarities between imperial China and Singapore to argue the case that Singapore will go downhill after two more leadership re-shuffles. (shrugs) Well, that's kopitiam talk for you.
Thoughtless & Pointless
Thoughtless encountered Pointless on a Bukit Timah Nature Reserve hiking trail.
Pointless: Your writings have gained attention.
Thoughtless: They certainly have.
P: You're wandering further and further away from the Way, I'm afraid. You seek to reach Johor by travelling north. Instead you have headed south and mistaken the bridge to Sentosa for the Causeway.
T: I'm not entirely sure I'm getting you.
P: Some people dislike what you've written because you are using the bright torch of your intellect to illuminate the filth of others. Some people like what you write because they delight in the voyeuristic pleasure of scrutinizing other people's filth, while hiding in the shadows of your torch.
T: And if this is indeed the case?
P: Why do you climb up Bukit Timah Hill? Perhaps you want to look down on humanity. I want to reach the summit simply because I enjoy the panoramic view. You scarcely realize that the higher you climb, the less visible individuals become.
T: I don't think I asked for a lesson, but do carry on if you have anything more to offer.
P: Just one line actually: What we cannot speak of we must pass over in silence.
T: But you've said it, haven't you?
P: True, but not the pointed out is no thing is not the pointed out.
No more school!!!
Utterly crappy results, but I'm graduating nevertheless.
Back
Back... I didn't catch any fish.
Bye
On holiday. Gone fishing on Brokeback.
4D neber open
4D neber 'open' my polling number. Sad.
Please don't ask me to run for Parliament. I cannot run one, my 2.4 timing very slow. At least three people ask me to run. Why, want to sabo me lose deposit issit? What's so nice about being an MP? I'd much rather be a civil servant. If you shake your finger at me, I call police catch you.
My friend suggested that we start a political party. I told him that it's easier to join an existing party and seize control from within. A new party has no brand name and next to no supporters, which would make electioneering very tedious. 'Election machinery' is just a euphemism for saigang party. There are leaflets to be printed, posters to be put up, flags and banners to be waved about. Who's gonna do that if you don't already have party support?
If you want to enter Parliament, obviously the easiest option is to join PAP. Got lots of logistical support and good chance of sauntering into Parliament without a fight. Problem is of course convincing the party cadre to select oneself as a candidate. Must have 3'C's and 2'P's; I dunno what they stand for, but I suspect these are qualities doctors, lawyers (obviously except those in opposition), retired generals and statutory board/GLC high-flyers usually have in abundance. And their tea sessions are invite-only, cannot suka-suka go one, unless your resume is damn kilat. But that's besides the point, since my friends would rather die than join PAP. Also, I have a mental barrier against wearing all-white. Can wear khaki shorts I don't mind.
So the default choice is Opposition lor. But which party? One is about to wind up already, and the other two the logos very the communist leh (ala Lim Chin Siong, I repeat: I'm not a communist..... I'm Maoist). In any case, joining Opposition has its good and bad. Good is that it is very easy to become famous. Media will be like that kaypoh classmate you had in secondary school. You take sexy photos, never hand up form or anyhow say things about Gahmen, you'll see your name everywhere in the media. Bad is that your family will be very worried for you. Joining Oppostion macham like join peasant rebellion against imperial forces. Your mother will be crying her eyes out, hugging your leg, begging you to stay as you walk out the door. It goes without saying that the most important quality an Opposition candidate has to possess is the 'not scared die' spirit. Cos you never know when the Gahmen will threaten you if you don't apologise for whatever indiscretion you've supposedly committed (even then sometimes sorry also no enough) or when the boss might send you on a suicide mission against the Emperor. Other qualities are not so important, since everybody knows that Opposition leaders tend to be poor judges of character and have lower standards of integrity.
Random thoughts about election
A few random thoughts about election.
- Thanks to all the people who didn't have to vote but nonetheless drove here to catch the WP rally for causing massive jams.
- I did a double take just when I was about to mark a cross on the ballot paper. I had expected the names for the PAP (or at least incumbent) team to be printed on top of their challengers; instead it was the other way round. So did my dad. So did my friend. My friend isn't sure that he voted as he intended. Also, the string securing the pen to the polling booth was far too short, which made it very difficult for left-handers. On a separate note, please let my polling card serial number come out for 4D.
- About 2% spoilt votes, which was enough to form a very very large SMC. Some cock put a tick beside the team he wanted to vote for (I'm not sure if that would count as a spoilt vote though, his intention was clear enough).
- Steve Chia improved on his previous showing, but still not enough. So it's too bad and sayonara. He might have won had he faced Low Seow Chay though. Now that Gan Kim Yong has taken the seat, I don't expect anyone to seriously challenge him in the near future. When a reporter asked Ong Ah Heng on his plans, I quipped, "I plan to continue drinking kopi with my constituents, and attend their funerals when they die." Grassroots MPs are a dying breed, must respect ok?
- I was incredulous when my friend said that he had voted SDP in Sembawang. When probed as to why he'd done so, his reply is my quote of my day. "I hate SDP to the core. I hate PAP even more!" Wah piang, hardcore man!
- Everyone's talking about PM Lee's poorer-than-expected showing. While I never entertained a 80+% forecast, I'd thought that he would garner almost 75% of the votes. Despite what he says, I doubt he's genuinely happy. Too many yes-men around him liao lah, say until he invincible like dat. The AMK Suicide Squad happily comes along and shatters the illusion. Tactical masterstroke by LTK man. I think Glenda Han attracted 3% of the votes by her presence alone, not that I would have voted for her. Given her concerns, she would probably better contribute by being a NMP. The PAP heavyweights in East Coast didn't perform too spectacularly either against a credible WP team, but I think both parties came away pretty satisfied.
- SM Goh sibeh lau kui. He put his reputation on his line, now kena blown away by the wind. Don't support ne'ermind, support already lagi worse. That Sitoh Yih Pin also quite poor thing, he threw the kitchen sink and everything else at old Chiam but Potong Pasir residents still prefer their town the way it is. Now he see his friend Grace Fu groomed for higher office while he himself Parliament toilet also cannot smell. Shuo lai shuo qu, I really envy the kampung spirit of the opposition wards. This is what I call sense of belonging to the community.
- In the end, luckily still got two opposition MPs left. If PAP had swept all 84 seats, then Parliament might as well close shop. Ministers discuss around table behind closed doors can already lor. Some pro-PAP people say Opposition say until they got destructive power of terrorists armed with avian flu like dat. If anything, a single-party Parliament is more likely to put off potential investors (though unlikely lah, since these people smell money already don't care whether got opposition or not).
- Eh, what about Aljunied? Wait lah, coming to it. In truth, I prefer the warm embrace of Marine Parade. But Elections people thought we were better off in Aljunied, so okay loh as long as Lim Hwee Hua come with us. Observers were eagerly anticipating the electoral battle for Aljunied, like a Cheng San part 2. It wasn't quite as close; much as we liked Sylvia Lim, there was little reason to kick out the MPs for the job they had done. We expected the WP team, as they themselves did, to receive about 40% of the votes. In the end, 43% was sufficient for Sylvia Lim's team to go home smiling, while George Yeo and gang had a slim but comfortable
win. So win win lor. Anyway Sylvia Lim said that they would be back. We await their return, hopefully with a stronger team and more policy suggestions.
- Don't know why everyone seems to be under the impression that the young were more likely to vote for the Opposition. True, we are more KBKB, but that does not automatically translate to anti-PAP votes. The diehard opposition supporters are, I would guess, more likely to be found among the lower-income group. But that said, among my tak giu friends, only one can be considered to be staunchly pro-PAP. And he's an immigrant from HK. I was chatting with a disgruntled old man (no, not Ling How Doong) in a void deck today. He was going on and on about the deficiencies of PAP, with a little aside about how diet might contribute to depression. According to him, GST will rise to 7% pretty soon. We'll see.
- As far as I can tell, no persistently pro-Opposition site got shut down. That's nice to see. Lee Boon Yang might still come after them later, but that would defeat the purpose. Psychically, I need persistently pro-Opposition (or more accurately, anti-PAP) opinions to alleviate the distress I get from reading persistently pro-PAP articles and letters in MSM.
How to vote
Political analysts claim that this election is 'boring' and lacks 'overarching issues'. Without substantial policy debates, politicians left clutching at straws and rehashing over-worn arguments to augment their case. But who needs policy debates when we can have mudslinging? To be honest, there's something about the exchange of political pleasantries that distinctly appeals to the gutter dweller in me.Contrary to what both the ruling party and Opposition might say, the James Gomez saga is indicative of our status as a First World democracy. First World as in Britain or the US, rather than the consensual politics of Switzerland. MM Lee has laid down the gauntlet, daring the putative aggrieved parties to sue him. In return, Low Thia Khiang has challenged MM Lee to sue him instead. I think neither will sue, since they've calibrated their insults to be genuinely offensive but not sufficiently so to invite defamation suits. If there's really nothing to talk about behind the lectern, then I suppose questioning the character of one's political opponent would be a wonderful way to pass the time. At least, it provides grist to the boh liao mill for journalists and just as boh liao people like myself.
With regards to James Gomez, George Yeo likens him to a shoplifter, MM Lee states categorically that he is a liar and Wong Kan Seng thinks that he is blatantly dishonest. There's a common thread to all three claims, but if I were in PAP I would pick just one label, maybe two, and stick to it. The Democrats called Bush all kinds of things, but the Republicans used just one term, 'flip-flopper', on Kerry, and it stuck like discarded chewing gum. Of the three, 'liar' seems the most appropriate (after all LKY himself chose it). Just today, as expected, Khaw Boon Wan alluded to 'some people who lie'. I haven't reviewed today's rallies, maybe it has already been used on more than one occasion.
Another pejorative word to describe the Opposition that has just cropped up is 'wayang'. This one, I believe, is thanks to Inderjit Singh. Now, I know people who are likely to become PAP candidates someday and I'm scared. I scared next time they remember some stupid comment or joke I made donkey years back and use it against me in whatever occasion. And God knows how many hundreds of stupid things I've said in their presence. During the lunchtime rally, Ng Eng Hen dubbed the WP the Wayang Party. But c'mon lah, hands to hearts, which party is not wayang? Many of us have been through army, and we can sense wayang from dunno how far away lor. You think people in the rally crowd boh tai boh zi cheer in unison meh? Much of the campaign is one super big wayang job, sekali directed by some brigadier-general like in National Day Parade (oops forgot Lee HL also brigadier-general).
A lot has been made in the blogosphere about the size of the WP rally crowds and the reluctance of the MSM to give the opposition politicians due coverage. Actually hor, I don't feel that the traditional media are particularly biased towards the Opposition. The PAP is the ruling party after all. It has already garnered 37 seats and is contesting the remaining the 47. As the largest party by far in terms of representation, the PAP should by right enjoy the most media coverage, or at least in proportion to its size. Also, even PAP stalwarts readily concede that larger crowds at Opposition rallies are nothing new. We already know what the PAP stand for and we hear the same spiel all the time. What you essentially get at PAP rallies are speakers describing, in various metaphors, the horrible consequences that would ensue should opposition politicians be voted in. On the other hand, we get to hear criticisms of the Government at Opposition rallies. The opposition candidates tell you in no uncertain terms what some of us think but dare not say. Which is not to say that everyone attending Opposition rallies is necessarily pro-PAP, but the process can be cathartic for many. Election campaigns in Singapore are like institutionalized periods of public ventilation and opportunities of politicians, including PAP ones, to engage in hyperbole. I don't know what you call that, it's like the festival in India where wives get to beat their husbands. But often in the end, after we cheer Opposition speakers and kao beh kao bu amongst ourselves, we put a X beside the PAP candidate(s) in the ballot paper and go home to wait for upgrading to come to our estates and fares to rise.
MM Lee exhorts us to ignore the entertaining speeches of opposition politicians and vote with our future in mind. Then what's the point of having political rallies if the medium is to be discredited? I understand that he is trying to win an election though. In any case, the Opposition does not have a monopoly on quality speakers, or bad ones for that matter. MM Lee is himself an excellent political speaker. But my point is that speeches are fundamental to the political process. Rhetoric was regarded as being of central importance to politics in the Greco-Roman world. Aristotle devoted an entire book to the topic, and of course the very concept of politics is a largely Greco-Roman one. As I see it, rally speeches are like job interviews. Even if a detailed resume is in possession, there's still a need to see and hear an applicant for oneself. Hence we always have voters saying that they want to attend a rally to hear for themselves. And with an audience numbering in the thousands, it is imperative as a candidate one should not disappoint by delivering (or often reading word for word from a script) a speech so lacklustre that even ghosts present would rather return to the netherworld. It doesn't matter if you have ability in spades; if you can't speak properly, who would want to listen to you in future? Personally I like speeches dripping with mordant wit, though I haven't heard too many quality soundbites (well, politicians tend to crack jokes only they find funny, with the audience laughing only out of courtesy). There was this WP candidate who announced gravely that he had lost his umbrella, and Steve Chia telling Sitoh Yih Pin not to hide behind his Ah Kong. Besides that, nothing too memorable.
This is my first time voting, and obviously many of you are polling virgins too. So this is my guide of what I think you should do on Polling Day, in case you are as blur as Gomez (assuming he was not dishonest of course).
Now, you should have received your polling card by now. It has your particulars, a serial number to trace your vote to your name and tells you where your polling station is. If you haven't received it, go to the Elections Department office. Wag your finger at the officer and warn him of the implications. Warning: He might refer to CCTV, so you'd better make sure you don't have it in your briefcase or something.
In all probability, you are in possession of your polling card. Proceed to the station on Polling Day and present both the card and your IC to the officer-in-charge. It should be noted that voting in an all-white attire is probably not a good idea. A baby blue top might just be tolerated, but if you carry a hammer then pai seh no go. You are not allowed to bring your handphone into the polling area. Political candidates are also not allowed here. If you spot any loitering around with intent, you are then allowed to take a picture of the offender with your cameraphone.
You will then receive a ballot paper. In the polling booth, check that the names of the candidates running in your constituency are printed correctly. For example, if you expect to see a surname Sitoh but there is a Goh instead, then reflect this to the officer. Also, ensure that more than one party is represented on the ballot. Don't cross already then realize only can choose one party. Remember, you have a choice. Beside the names are symbols. They don't actually mean anything. Just because there's a tortoise doesn't mean that candidate came from one.
Cross out the name(s) that you do not wish to vote for. There are empty boxes beside the names and symbols. These are for you to write the reasons why you did or did not vote for these candidates. 'Don't like his face' is a valid reason. If you can't think of any, then just leave it. Fold the ballot slip neatly in half and put it into the box. No, not the recycling bin. Suppress the urge to shout out any party names or slogans as you leave. However much you desire upgrading, remember that there are ti ki people around you, so respect their political choice.
Political mistakes
I missed the rallies in my constituency as well as the political broadcasts cos I was away. Looks like I haven't missed much, unless someone is of the opinion that Gomezgate ranks as a political scandal of the same order as Prescott banging his secretary. I think Prescott has achieved genuine work-life balance; I mean, he's making babies during office hours. For all we know, he might have hammered furiously away on his laptop and secretary, spewing emails and emissions, simultaneously. A difficult coordination task I'd say, akin to rubbing one's belly while patting one's head, but harder (no pun intended, if one was detected).
(stop for a while, PAP lorry driving past. The WP lorry drove past a couple of hours ago)
I suppose we're lucky that our election campaigns last only nine days. Any longer and we risk electorate fatigue. In truth, our politicians haven't got much to argue about. Half the time, the collective screech of barrel bottom scrapping grates just a little. Perhaps in Singapore, ideology matters significantly less than image. So it's not so much a matter of what you say as how you say. If this is indeed the case, I'm afraid some of our candidates haven't been doing an awesome job, at least from my point of view.
Firstly, I'm not sure if they know that trying to come across as being passionate does not necessarily mean one should sound like a gangster about to pia zhui. On this count, ladies can be just as guilty as the men. While elections are metaphorically referred to as fights, there is the formalism of sumo and then there is WWE. Secondly, it doesn't hurt to look just a wee bit friendly and approachable. If I see your face already buay song liao, why should I vote for you and have to tahan your jiao bin for the next five years? Also, it is rarely disadvantageous to have one or two auntie killers on your slate. As Kelvin Tan will attest, never underestimate the collective power of aunties. Lastly, I've noticed the disturbing tendency to pump fists indiscriminately. Utter one sentence then boh tai boh zi pump fist, make another uninspiring statement pump fist, supporter shout your party name pump fist again. Pump fist never mind, must pump with power and seh. Don't extend your fists hesitantly, almost as an afterthought (though usually in imitation of the minister), and wave them around like limp dicks. It makes for painful viewing.
